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Living alone can be one of the most difficult things to do. If you need to come home and rant, you are greeted with the dull hum of your refrigerator. Internet is all yours to pay for, and if any of those things stop working, you have to figure out who to call. Also, how do you handle strange noises at night time? This was something that always scared me a little bit about imagining going off on my own.
Two years ago, I moved to a place I had never been to pursue what I thought was a dream at the time. Beforehand, I lived with my boyfriend of 6 years. I assumed that it would difficult to do everything on my own, but that it would come effortlessly as I settled in. Unfortunately, the stress was tremendous. I didn’t really know anyone in the small, rural area, and I honestly didn’t have the time to find friends with the amount of work I had to do at my new job. I suffered quite a lot within the first year because I was completely burnt out and anxious. After working, my routine was to come home and do absolutely nothing (except maybe eat junk food). This is all well and good for some days, but it became a habit for me. I was not doing anything productive or meaningful with my life, unless you count the ability to watch a complete series on Netflix in the span of a few days.
What Do I Know?
Last spring, I had a bit of an awakening after reading Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini. This book challenged me to analyze my lifestyle and make positive changes. It’s part of the reason I started a YouTube channel last spring. I am currently working on other projects, like this blog, but if I had not made those videos, I would probably not be typing this right now. All of these changes helped me to be more conscious of the way I spend my time, especially as a person living alone. Because of this, I have worked very hard this past year to live alone as happily as possible. Am I always happy? No. Do I sometimes think I’m losing it a little bit?(spoiler alert: the answer is yes).
I hope that my experience with living alone will help you in your personal journey! Here are 5 tips that I had to learn on my own:
1. Decorate!
I was so excited to decorate my house the way I wanted to. This was probably the first thing I thought about when moving. I made so many trips to Target and TJ Maxx in the beginning. I’ve said this in a previous post, but there’s truly a reason why Sims are happy in the game when you upgrade your furniture or add a candle to a room. My real focus was my bedroom because I wanted it to be a space where I could truly relax after a stressful day.
If you can’t afford to redecorate, try moving things around! I love how a room can change just by turning the bed in a different direction.
2. Get Yourself a Cat Right Meow
No kitting around with this. Companion animals are probably going to make almost every lifestyle post I write because of how dearly I love them. My cat, Giddy, is my family. Call me crazy cat lady if you will, but being able to cuddle, communicate, or play with this angel makes my day every single day. She also seems to have a sense about when something is wrong with me because she is all over my lap during those times. Your heart will be warm and your bed won’t be empty!
3. Let Your Passions Consume You
Living alone is seriously the best time to follow your passion. Really use the opportunities you have to figure out your life goals and take steps to achieve them. I spent so much effort complaining about how little time I had, only to realize that I was letting my negativity and binge watching habits eat away at my personal freedom. You probably have the time to do the things you want in life, but you have to structure your schedule.
Buy a dry erase board or create a vision board to get started on this! I love having reminders around my house that encourage me to stop being lazy. Also, you don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks about your reminders! You can seriously put them anywhere you want!
4. Meal Prep
Feeding yourself is one of the most basic and necessary acts. You really have no choice in this matter. My days of coming home to purple Doritos and lean cuisines are mostly gone due to this very simple, important tip: Pick a day of the week that works for you and prep all of your food for the week!
This has changed my life, truly. Before I moved, I was so used to doing half of the work by cooking with another person. Meal prepping might sound like a lot of work, but imagine how much time you spend in the week asking yourself what you’re going to be eating next. If you plan ahead, you don’t end up wasting precious time and eating crap food (unless that’s part of the plan!). This also helps with your overall health because you won’t be coping with your loneliness by eating mindlessly! You can also save money, which is probably important if you are covering your utilities solo.
5. Clean Routine
I despise cleaning. There. I said it. I have always wanted to be a cleaner. Occasionally I do go through spurts of clean energy, but it’s not often. I really have to force myself to stay on track, especially since I have no one to split the work with. Establishing a cleaning routine has really helped me keep my house in order (for the most part). There are specific tasks I do on certain days, usually weekends (unless something requires my immediate attention). Obviously, I clean up in the kitchen after meals, but I don’t stress over the huge cleaning jobs until my personally designated time.
What do you do to stay sane at home?
mystyle5
I lived by myself for 3 years during uni, and it was great. I had the luxury of seeing my friends whenever I wanted to, but also had my privacy and quiet moments when needed. I would usually do full blown spa days at home in the weekends, pampering myself from head to toe- then the days just fly by 🙂
kaylalynnwrites
I also love the ability to have a clear division between me time and other people time. It definitely helps you focus on caring for yourself more if you look at it in a positive light! Thank you!
Kiki Roams
I love living alone and the freedom that it gives me. But I totally agree with having companion animals. I love my two ridiculously furry cats (Liam and Penelope) and it’s heartwarming when they run to the front door to greet me when I get home.
kaylalynnwrites
I totally agree, Kiki! I love the names of your cats! Mine runs to the door too! It’s so nice to be missed! Thank you!
The Darling Diaries
Love, love, love this post. Xx
jiselle jones
nice post first of all! i read the entire thing and did not skim read! I think its all about how you view living on your own, as a blessing an opportunity to have your owwn space aand do as you please or a lonely time in your life. On the weekends when I’m home alone I enjoy watching movies, I love how clean my house stays as it’s only me and I sometimes also enjoy the quite time. please note I have 3 girls so the quite is appreciated! I love how you decorated your bedroom btw!
kaylalynnwrites
Jiselle! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so grateful for the fact that you read and enjoyed this post. I totally agree that having the right view or mindset can totally make a difference! As a mom, I’m sure you definitely enjoy your quiet time! Thank you so very much!
Manavi
I go through very similar things and I think most of your tips are great–they’re positive and easy to follow. Thanks so much!
Kati
Awwww I liked that cat part, since I have few little cats, I can say that cats bring happiness 100% to your life, and I’d also suggest it for everyone 🙂 Other aspects of happiness that you suggest are also great 🙂 Love your article 🙂
Melissa James
I recently moved into an apartment a little over a month ago after a 6 year relationship. Like the beginning of your blog I am stuck in a habit but i am happy to read that things can get better. The big thing i am dealing with is being incredibly lonely. How did you deal with this? 😳😢
kaylalynnwrites
Hey Melissa! I completely understand where you’re coming from. I definitely experienced that too. The thing that helped me the most was using my alone time to find things that made me happy. I really focused on my goals, like this blog, but I also really pushed myself to try things I hadn’t done before to get myself out of the house. The more I said yes to new experiences the more I learned about myself. Good luck with your new journey! Stay in touch! 😊
Carol
Living alone as a widow is different than just choosing to live alone. But I appreciate & understand all your comments. I have been a widow for almost three years & am slowly getting used to the alone time. Sometime I totally enjoy it – relax over coffee for two hrs in my pjs and no one to explain to. I also have changed deco of house to be much more to my feminine style. I am spending more time with girlfriends and getting back into charity sewing – which I love. My alone time sewing with radio on is very therapeutic and I’m helping others. Loved reading your blog
kaylalynnwrites
Hi carol! I️ apologize for my delay in response as somehow I️ did not see your comment! Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment. I️ can certainly see how loving alone by choice is different. I️ am so sorry to hear about your loss. I️ cannot imagine how difficult that must be. It sounds like you’ve done some great things for yourself, which I️ am sure are well deserved. I️ love that you work on charity sewing also! It’s amazing that you’re spending your time on something productive to help others. That’s truly inspirational. Best wishes to you in everything you do! I️ wish you happiness and fulfillment in your life. Thank you again for your genuine comment. Stay in touch! 💜
Sabrina
Found you on Pinterest. Thank God. I am feeling a bit lonely in my new place. I move at hour and a half away so I can’t just call an old friend or family member to come keep me company. Also, I don’t have friends out here yet. I am going to use your tips. I have been thinking about a kitty but I feel bad because I live in a tiny studio and he’d be lonely all day. I also think stretching and yoga at home would be a great thing to do. Thanks so very much for helping many with this. xxoo
kaylalynnwrites
Hi Sabrina! I️ am SO happy to hear from you! Thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful comment. Moving to a new place is so tough. I️ also moved again 6 months ago. Starting over can be such a challenge. Have you thought about joining a yoga studio or gym? Or maybe there’s a running or exercise group you could join to meet others. I️ also found out about meet up websites that a lot of people seem to like, though I’ve never tried it. Definitely try new things and explore your new surroundings! Best wishes to you and please stay in touch! 😊💜
Alexandra
I suggest reading the Bible! Spend time growing closer to Jesus by reading the Bible and believing that He died and rose again for our sins. Also, be careful of yoga…stretching is fine, but the intention of “yoga” originated and originates from people worshipping false gods with various body poses. Consider the names of some of these poses. Instead, stretch and read the Bible!
Mary
Thank you ladies for all your thoughts. It is a comfort and good ideas.
Ihave had a good old chunk of alone time too. All the best and how lovely it is to read such caring words !
Mary Isobella
Emily Aagaard
I love this! I really miss living alone (am back at home now), and I loved being able to decorate and organise things my own way! I know for sure when I move back out that the first thing I need is a feline friend!
Emily Aagaard // https://www.emilyaagaard.com
Laura
I enjoyed your blog. I am single again after 32 years of marriage. I got married young so I was never on my own before. I got a dog right off. I would add to your blog that it’s a good idea to force yourself to go out. I try to find free or cheap community events to go to and then make myself go. I usually find someone to talk to and end up enjoying myself. All my friends are still married so I rarely have company to these events.
Gee
I’m going to be living alone for the first time ever. I’m terrified but I know I have to do it. I always wonder who am I going to talk to, eat dinner with, watch a movie with, cuddle with? It will be just me alone with my thoughts. It’s scary.
C
I’m moving out for the first time alone too. Granted I have a dog. New city new job but old insecur9. My bc asked me to move out after 2 years. I’m scared about being lonely and texting or calling him. But then I’m excited about all my own stuff. I’m sure we both will succeed
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